Q. My husband gets up in the middle of the night to surf pornographic Web sites. When I asked him about it, he told me it was none of my business. Does he need counseling? What can I do to help?

A. The Internet has made cybersex addiction more and more common. Your husband’s condition needs to be addressed. It could be a sign that he is having difficulty dealing with some issue in his life. And it might evolve into a compulsive coping disorder much like a chemical addiction. Don’t be surprised if your spouse is defensive and either denies having a problem, despite your evidence, or admits he has a problem but refuses to address it. Denial or not wanting to get help is a serious issue that needs professional counseling.

Warning signs of cybersex addiction:
• Routinely spending significant amounts of Internet time behind a locked door.
• Finding suspicious Web site subscriptions charged to credit cards.
• Planning his entire day or evening around his next online session.
• A childlike denial of Internet usage.
• Exhibiting restless, depressed or irritable mood swings if he feels Internet access is being curtailed.
• Risking job loss by viewing pornographic Web sites at work.
• Using cybersex as a way to avoid life issues.

How you can help:
Seek professional advice. EAP can assist. Family members need to be involved. Treatment, which is the same as for other addictions, includes individual and group therapy; self-help groups; family counseling; and educational workshops for addicts and their families.

Call EAP, 24/7, (713) 866-4242. The service is confidential and free.

Resources:
www.houstontx.gov/hr/eappages/eap.htm
www.cybersexualaddiction.com/

Anika Isaac, EAP counselor